I think I have said this single phrase over a thousand time already. Sometimes in exasperation, sometimes in annoyance but more often than not because of a single trait I posses. A pair of X chromosomes.
Life for a woman is not fair. It’s not.
It’s not fair that my sister has to have her education experience in high school be one of terror because we as a society don’t teach boys ‘not interested’ means ‘not interested’. It’s not fair that she has to defend her intelligence because she is female and therefore must have gotten her grades by her looks. It’s not fair that teachers say things like girls should stick to soft subjects when we have a record drop in science students even enrolling in institutes of higher learning. It’s not fair that I have to pass her a razor blade and tell her to keep it in her pockets. It’s not fair that I am terrified on her behalf of these boys who society teaches to act like ‘men’ before they are human.
It’s not fair that my mother’s worth is randomly decided by society based on her husband. As though her existence is so fleeting that the only way to tie it down and give it meaning would be to link it to a man. It’s not fair that my mother has had to sacrifice so much because the world wouldn’t and still doesn’t look kindly on the daughters of divorced mothers. It’s not fair how my mother’s parenting was and is judged poorly because she is a working-mother while my father’s absence at birthday parties were explained away by his gender.
It’s not fair how my own value as a human being is trampled on this quest other people seem to want to push me on. The grand prize at the end of the road? Why a husband of course (even if I may not want one)! It’s not fair how I don’t exist as a person but only in the context of someone’s daughter, wife or mother. As if these are the only roles I could ever play. It’s not fair how I exhausted I get after I have read the harrowing experience of sexual assault in the news and have someone ask “So, what was she wearing?”. It’s not fair that we still treat women as objects and property of men as if we don’t make up half of this world, as if we are not flesh-and-blood. As if we are not human.
It’s not fair how I will (probably) end up having to explain this personal account with the footnote #NotAllMen.