I am going to get through this.
That’s what I kept telling myself in the shower. I will make it through. I have survived an entire high school period of bullying, family trouble I will get through this. I will try my best not to assign blame to anyone or any incident. I am going to make it through because I will. I know sheer force of will won’t be enough but I have to accept that I have a problem, a psychological issue that I have to work through. And I need to stop associating my deferred subject (Statistics) with fear and what-ifs. I will make sense out of it and it will be fine. Now excuse me while I keep repeating that to myself every time my heart starts racing.
I had a really bad day yesterday and today hopefully will be okay, okay enough for me to go outside.